What if FEAR Doesn’t Have to be Your Identity?
How to REWIRE Your Biggest Fears
By Jennifer Kahtz
Are you an adventurer? Do you live by a routine or do you tend to incorporate new things in your everyday life? I am a bit of a routine person, but I had an experience recently that changed my perspective and I want to share because this impacted my view on life and it might impact yours, too.
It pertains to fully living without fear and doing something every month that you haven’t done before.
Of course, you may be thinking, how in the world do I overcome fear? How would I live that way? The brain is often wired to keep you comfortable and maintain the status quo. But there is a freedom to living without fear that you might come to love.
I want to share with you a recent experience that opened my mind to the possibilities that exist in living a fearless life. Through the story, I’ll include tips that will reveal the pathway to overcoming fear.
I was sitting with a new client, friend and Leadership Coach, Tanya Keats for a coffee meeting. It was an intriguing and downright amazing experience.
Tanya Keats lives differently than most people. She embraces the new and the uncomfortable. She even embraces FEAR.
Years ago, she set a monthly goal to do something she’s never done before. The minute she set this intention, ideas began buzzing in her mind. She began living outside of her comfort zone.
Leading a life of adventure with new experiences can lead to an extraordinary life.
Now, for me it takes me a while to get over the fear factor, so I absorbed her stories and adventures like a sponge. It was one of the most uplifting meetings I’ve had and it was just a coffee meeting!
Here are some of the new, never-done-before experiences Tanya shared with me…
Waiting for her flight on a trip, she complimented a stranger and struck up a conversation. With that small but significant act, she created a life-long, extraordinary friend and client.
A trip to Italy as one example and how this commitment to being an adventurer plays out in her everyday life.
Once she arrived in Italy, she decided to live like a local instead of visiting like a tourist. She reveled in the simplicity of life there like doing laundry and taking out the trash.
This made me think about what we might be missing out on by not living this way. What about you? Do you strike up conversations with strangers?
Then Tanya spoke of getting an opportunity to drive a NASCAR race car. The speed and trusting the directions of a stranger whom she had never met before created a thrilling experience she’ll never forget.
She also shared an experience where she randomly went to naked yoga, just because she never had before. Naked yoga!!
Tanya has had local adventures, too, by visiting underground, quirky places around the Valley. Going to a new place counts as something you’ve never done before!
Then she spoke about skydiving and her tandem jump.
This all got me thinking about my own life and how unadventurous I am. I have huge admiration for the life she chooses to live. So what about you, do you live like this? Perhaps fear holds a lot of us back on choosing adventurous experiences.
“How do you prevent fear from holding you back?” I asked?
I confided that I have past patterns and fears around certain things. For me, some of those adventures wouldn’t be spontaneous and fun but terrifying.
Here’s the clincher.
Tanya said, “What if you could rewire that so that you don’t have to have fear around adventures?”
I answered, “Really? Rewire?”
Then Tanya gave the trick she used to rewire herself to overcome her own fears.
She said, “You were born to be open to life and then beliefs and societal restrictions conditioned or influences of other people can condition us to conform. What if you can give your old patterns and beliefs back to the people who might have given them to you.”
Really?
Here Is the Tool to Rewire Old Fears
She continued, Think about the fear or the beliefs that might hold you back. Envision them and then imagine giving them back to the relationship that created them. It could be a scarcity program from your father or whatever it is. If you can’t imagine, set the intention to give them back. Then after you imagine the belief, ask to retrieve anything you might have given up, like your power, your open mind, or your innocence, whatever you may have lost in that relationship. Retrieve it back in your imagination. Then she said, “Don’t be surprised if the other person in that relationship calls you because they’re going to feel an energy shift.”
WOW! I never thought of this. Most of the stuff that holds us back isn’t our inherent true selves but ideas, restrictions, and beliefs we receive through our interactions with others.
Life is an Adventure! The Takeaway...
Our takeaway is that life doesn’t have to be routine. It can be a daily adventure, an uncovering of insight, strength, and hope for a change that makes it easier and better. When we see life through fear, it often holds back a limitless reality of blessings and joy. So any kind of tool that strengthens your character and makes life better is priceless.
The next day I had another similar experience that provides another tool to rewire our mindsets, so stay tuned for another story...
Disclaimer:
Just want you to know that I am not trying to “teach” anything that I am not learning or working on myself. I say that because I can hear a voice saying,”Wait ...is she some sort of self proclaimed guru??” The answer is noooo. I’m learning with you. The things we write about are from our own journeys as we learn, grow, and change. For me, sharing helps others discover, we’re not alone.
The author, Jennifer Kahtz is the founder of Emotive Pull. Emotive Pull a consultancy who focuses on fostering human connection to grow businesses by emotionalizing brands and communications so they outshine and sell. Learn more about Emotive Pull and Jennifer Kahtz at emotivepull.com.
Tanya Keats is the founder of Keats Coaching, a leadership coach focusing on individuals and companies to lead self, lead others to obtain the results they desire in their life. Learn more about Keats Coaching and Tanya Keats at keatscoaching.com.
30 Day Giving Challenge
Explode Your Life Through Goal Setting and Selfless Service
To those of you who reached out for the 30 Day Giving Challenge, I’d like to invite you to a
Weekly Friday morning Zoom call starting January 17th at 10:00-11:00 am.
The what:
Set goals and deliberate intentions toward achieving your dreams and learn the strategies for how to get there. Grow with a community of movers and shakers while we set an intention to create our dreams together. We’ll check in for accountability support. For one hour, we’ll check in, share experiences, give accountability support, and brainstorm ideas to help and elevate each other.
The why:
I’ve created this group based on a challenge from Earl Nightingale’s, The Strangest Secret. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9PmuAFsQOM.
We are inviting a group of current clients, past clients, and friends to join us in exploring what I’ve learned from this amazing work. (If you missed our article on this, you can read it HERE.)
He states basically there are two types of people,
those who conform to societal norms and
those who are the causal point of their reality, actually creating their outcomes.
He challenges us to create goals, work diligently towards those goals with a deliberate intention, give selflessly for 30 days, and then watch what happens.
This audio impacted me so much that I decided to do the work myself. I want to invite you to join me so we can do this TOGETHER.
The how:
Zoom Call Weekly Check In: During the call, we’ll support each other in implementing these principles. Showing up is the first step to achieving anything.
Zoom link or call
Zoom Meeting for video:
Meeting ID: 602 430 8900
Or if it’s easier to call in the conference line:
Dial by your location
+1 669 900 6833 US (San Jose)
+1 646 558 8656 US (New York)
Meeting ID: 602 430 8900